May 23, 1999
Know Yourself -- Part II
In this issue, we will continue with the writings of a more recent
"Desert Father," namely St. Theophan the Recluse, a Russian father of the 19th
century who lived in the frozen deserts of the Russian north. Although he is a modern
saint in chronological terms, he is spiritually at one with the ancient Desert Fathers of
Egypt and Palestine. Last week we began this series with "War With Passions." In
Part II of this series, we will look today at "Know Yourself." Unless otherwise
noted, all quotations are from St. Theophan.
BEGIN: -- A soul untried by sorrows is good for nothing.
-- There is but one road to the kingdom of God; a cross, voluntary
or involuntary.
-- Until the soul is established with the mind in the heart, it
does not see itself, nor is it properly aware of itself.
-- True self-knowledge is to see one’s own defects and
weaknesses so clearly that they fill our whole view. And mark this – the more you see
yourself at fault and deserving of every censure, the more you will advance.
-- A sense of our own righteousness does us great harm. Keep firmly
in mind the point that the moment this feeling arises, however feebly, it is a sure sign
that our efforts have gone wrong. The greater your conviction that you are a sinner, the
more certain it is that you are travelling on the right path. But this feeling of
sinfulness should spring from the depths of the soul in a natural way, instead of being
suggested from without by our own reflections, or by some remark from another person.
There are many good feelings, but the feeling of worthlessness is
the most fundamental; and when it is absent everything else is of no use. Commit this
carefully to your memory.
-- (The Nun Magdalina) Why do we criticize others? Because we do
not try to know ourselves. Whoever is busy trying to know himself has no time to notice
the faults of others. Judge yourself and you will stop judging others. Regard every man as
better than you are, for without this thought a man is far from God, even though he
performs miracles.
-- Examine yourself to see whether you have within you a strong
sense of your own importance, or, negatively, whether you have failed to realize that you
are nothing. This feeling of self-importance is deeply hidden, but it controls the whole
of our life. Its first demand is that everything should be as we wish it, and as soon as
this is not so we complain to God and are annoyed with people.
The high value we set on ourselves, in consequence of this feeling
of importance, not only upsets our relationship with other men but also our attitude to
God. Self-importance is as wily as the devil and cleverly conceals itself behind humble
words, settling itself firmly in the heart so that we swing between self-depreciation and
self-praise.
-- It must be understood that a man struggling towards perfection
is not himself aware of the progress which he makes on his path. He toils with the sweat
of his brow, but (so far as he can see) his labor bears no fruit. This is because grace
works secretly. The eye of human vision does not discern the good which he is doing. The
way to perfection is through the realization that we are blind, poor, and naked. This
sense of nakedness is closely linked with contrition of the spirit, when in unceasing
repentance we pour out before God our grief and sorrow at our impurity. Penitent feelings
are an essential element of true spiritual progress, and whoever evades them is deviating
from the right way. Repentance is the starting point and foundation stone of our new life
in Christ; and it must be present not only at the beginning but throughout our growth in
this life, increasing as we advance. On reaching spiritual maturity man becomes acutely
conscious of his sinfulness and corruption, and his sense of contrition and repentance
grows ever more profound. Tears are the measure of progress, and unceasing tears are a
sign of coming purification.
-- Do not let the eye of the mind turn away from the heart; and
when anything comes forth from there, at once catch it and examine it. If it is good, let
it be; if it is not good, it must be killed at once. In this way, learn to know yourself.
If some thought emerges more often than others, it signifies a passion stronger than the
rest. This means that you must combat it with greater energy. Yet do not place any
reliance on yourself and do not expect to achieve anything by your own efforts. All means
of healing and all remedies are sent by the Lord. So give yourself up to Him –- and
this at all times. Strive and go on striving; but expect all good to come only from the
Lord.
-- Look to yourself, and have more concern with the heart. To
discriminate between movements of the heart, read and reflect on the writings of Sts. John
of the Ladder, Isaac of Syria, Barsanouphios and John – also of Diadochos,
Philotheos, Abba Isaias, Evagrios, Cassian, and Neilos in the "Philokalia"; and
apply what they say to yourself. When you read, do not just leave impressed on your mind a
general idea of the author’s argument, but always turn what he says into a personal
rule to be applied to yourself. When you do this, the general idea you have formed always
undergoes some shades of change. END
from "The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology,"
(London: Faber & Faber, 1966), pp. 222 - 231
|
View Shopping Cart / Checkout